Why Can't I?
by BarbyChan4ever
Summary: Justin and Connie become acquainted during an NA meeting. She falls for him immediately, but he's hesitant because of his past and his feelings for Jessica. Eventual Justin/OC.
1. Chapter 1

This is another story of mine that I also have posted on Wattpad. It takes place after the second season, but there was no attempted shooting and Justin has already been adopted by the Jensens. Rating might go up in future chapters.

The title is based on the song by Liz Phair. Please let me know what you think!

UPDATE: 08/24/2019

I finished watching 13RW season 3 yesterday, and I decided I will be addressing the attempted shooting and following the show's storyline, but with my own twists.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 ** _Justin's POV_**

This was Justin Foley's second meeting in four days.

He'd been desperately trying to hide the fact that he wasn't clean from the Jensens. He'd been given a second chance he knew didn't deserve; with new parents who cared about his well being, and a new brother that trusted him and protected him. If he lost them, he wouldn't be able to take it.

Justin still felt guilty about a lot of things. Showing Bryce that picture of Hannah, letting him rape Jessica, threatening Clay, becoming an addict. There were too many sins on his conscience.

One of the most recent ones consisted on the night of the Spring Fling at Liberty High.

He'd slept with Jessica, knowing full well that she was dating Alex. Seeing them together had hurt him deeply, no matter how he'd tried to tell himself to be happy for them. When Jessica had leaned in on him, looking absolutely beautiful, he just couldn't refuse her. He wasn't worthy of her love, and he will never be. But if she still wanted him, what could stop him from saying yes again?

The answer was simple: Alex.

Alex, who'd saved his life. Alex, who was his friend. He'd betrayed Alex, and that couldn't be undone now. He and Jessica had vowed not to say anything to him. Alex was just starting to feel like his old self again, and there would be no point in crushing his spirit, not after everything.

"Is there anyone here attending their first NA meeting, or this meeting for the first time?" Lincoln, the leader of the meeting asked, disrupting Justin's musings.

A girl who looked around his age raised her hand slowly. She was sitting right in front of him, so he didn't have to move to see her. The first thing he noticed was the blue lipstick on her lips. _I don't think I've ever seen a girl wearing blue lipstick._ Her long, dark hair was tied up in a ponytail. It seemed like she hadn't slept in days, because there were purple circles around her brown eyes. The girl looked nervous and out of place, but she wasn't the only one.

"Well, hello!" Lincoln welcomed the girl. "What's your name?"

"My name is Connie." She replied, looking down. "This is my first meeting ever."

"Hi, Connie." They all greeted her in unison.

"Can you tell us something about yourself, Connie?" Lincoln asked her. "Why are you here with us today?"

"I'm here because..." Connie closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't really know if I can say it now. Sorry."

"That's fine. You can just listen for today, and talk when you're ready."

Connie nodded, shifting uncomfortably in her chair. Her gaze suddenly met Justin's, and he looked away quickly, embarrassed that he'd been caught staring.

It seemed silly, but he now felt better knowing there was someone around his age present. _I wonder where does she go to school_.

After listening to several stories, Justin was glad that it was time for a break. Meetings could be overwhelming, and he needed to think about something that wasn't needles for a minute.

Justin waited in line to pour himself a cup of coffee, when somebody patted him on the back.

"Sorry, I just..." Connie murmured, rubbing the back of her neck. He stood quietly, waiting for her to elaborate. "You're just the only person here who isn't old or creepy, and I wanted to ask you if you could tell me how all of this works and what am I supposed to say, because I don't really know if I'm comfortable telling everyone about my life and..." She stopped, biting her lip. "Sorry. I ramble when I'm nervous."

Justin watched her with an amused expression. "It's okay, relax. I get it."

Connie let out a tiny breath. "Let's start over." She held out her hand for him to shake. "I'm Connie, but you already knew that. What's your name?"

"I'm Justin." He said, taking her hand. Connie's blue mouth curved into a smile, and her pale cheeks reddened. _Pretty_.

It was finally his turn at the coffee line, so he poured one cup for him and one for Connie.

"Thanks." She said, taking a sip. "It's good."

"You're a terrible liar." Justin chuckled. "It's awful, but you'll get used to it."

"How long have you been coming here?" She blurted out. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry."

"You apologize a lot." Justin noticed. "A couple of weeks."

"Does it help?"

Justin didn't want to lie to her, but he didn't want to discourage her either. "I don't know." He shrugged. "Sometimes."

He and Connie stared at each other until it was time for the meeting to continue and they had to return to their seats. Unexpectedly, Connie raised her hand for the second time today. "I'd like to talk now."

"Go ahead, Connie." Lincoln encouraged her.

"I'm here because I'm addicted to cocaine." Connie gritted her teeth. "I want to explain why I started doing it, but I'm too ashamed." She sniffled quietly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, Connie." Lincoln said reassuringly. "You won't get any judgment here. Like I said earlier, you can talk when you're ready."

Connie adjusted her ponytail and remained quiet for the rest of the meeting; her eyes and Justin's meeting on occasion. He couldn't help but wonder what she was thinking. _How did a girl let like that get into cocaine?_

"I totally chickened out." Connie mumbled on the way to the exit. "I'm such an idiot."

Justin shook his head. "No, you're not. It's not that easy to share these type of things. I tend to do more listening than talking here."

"Yeah." She began yawning and looking at her phone. "My mom was supposed to pick me up, but she's running late. Do you wanna go somewhere to talk... or not talk?" Justin's eyes widened, and Connie blushed, realizing how she'd sounded. "I didn't mean it like that."

Justin grinned. "Don't worry." He was about to accept when he saw Clay's car parked outside. "My brother is over there waiting for me." He said, hating the way he'd made her hopeful expression disappear. "I'm sorry."

"Now who is apologizing?" Connie joked. "It's fine. I guess I'll see you at the next meeting."

"Sure." Justin gave her one last look. She was playing with the sleeves of her sweater, smiling slightly at him. He waved her goodbye and got into the car.

"Hey, Justin." Clay greeted him. "Who was that?"

"New girl." He answered simply. _And someone who doesn't know anything about the things that I've done_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 ** _Connie's POV_**

 _Why am I here? That's a good question_.

Connie Collette couldn't bring herself to explain it all out loud. It was already hard enough to admit she was an addict, but tell a group of strangers how she ended up becoming one? How was she supposed to do something like that?

 _It's a meeting, dummy. You're basically obliged to talk about this stuff_.

When the words 'addict' and 'cocaine' had left her lips, she wanted to do nothing but bury her head in the grass. She felt absolutely disgusted with herself.

Her mother was the only reason she'd agreed to start going to meetings in the first place. Connie needed to make amends with her somehow, and this was the beginning of it. She wanted her mother to look at her like she was her daughter, not a time bomb.

But now Darcy Collette was running late, and Connie was tired of waiting for her. She just wanted to curl up in bed and let dreams take over. _Perhaps I should have asked Justin for a ride_.

Justin looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. His eyes were like a pool she could easily get lost in. When he'd smiled at her, she felt something she hadn't felt in a long time: warmth.

Nobody at her school wanted to be friends with 'Connie the cokehead', or 'Connie the psycho's daughter." She'd already gotten used to sitting alone during lunch and being picked last during gym class. _It's not like I don't deserve it_.

Justin had treated her like a person, and she was looking forward to seeing him again.

After what it felt like hours, Darcy finally arrived to pick her up.

"Hey, mom." Connie whispered, getting into the car.

"How did it go?" Darcy asked as she drove.

"It went okay." Connie said, carefully choosing her words. "I think it'll be good for me."

Her mother sighed. "I hope so."

The rest of the ride was silent. Connie wanted to apologize to her mother for the 1000th time, but she couldn't form the words. She just looked out the window, thinking about Justin's sad eyes.

When they were finally home, Connie ran to her bedroom and jumped into bed without changing. It only took her seconds to fall asleep.

* * *

It was Sunday morning, which meant it was up to Connie to go to Walplex and do the grocery shopping. She took a long shower and put on her favorite dress, ready to get it over with.

Connie filled the shopping cart with all the things Darcy had put on the list, eager to get back home to study for a Math test she had tomorrow. _I'm probably going to fail anyway_. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she ended up bumping her cart against someone else's on her way to the line.

"Shit." She said, praying the woman whose cart she had hit wouldn't yell at her. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, honey." The woman said softly. She was a blonde around her mother's age.

Connie gave her a polite nod and got behind her in the line. She checked her phone to let Darcy know she'd be on the way home soon. It had taken a while for her mother to let her leave the house by herself, and Connie didn't want to screw it up. She wanted desperately to prove that she could be trusted.

"I got the eggs." A familiar voice said, approaching the blonde woman's cart. Connie let out a nervous laugh when she saw who it was. _Justin_.

"Hey, Connie." He said, exchanging a look with who now Connie assumed was his mom.

"You know her, Justin?" The woman wondered.

"Yeah, I met her at yesterday's meeting." He answered. "Connie, this is Mrs. J-... my mother, Lainie Jensen."

 _Now that's weird. Why would he call his mother 'Mrs.'?_ "It's a pleasure, ma'am." Connie said courteously.

"So polite." Mrs. Jensen smiled brightly. "You here by yourself?"

"Um, yeah." Connie nodded, feeling Justin's eyes on her. "My mom had some things to do at home."

"I see." It was now Mrs. Jensen's turn at the register, so Justin began helping her with the groceries. "It was lovely to meet you, Connie. You should come for dinner sometime."

"I don't know..." Connie began, blushing. She looked directly at Justin, searching for any signs of discomfort. He only grinned at her, which made her face turn even redder. "I wouldn't want to intrude."

"It's no intrusion." Lainie reassured her. "Just let us know beforehand."

It felt foreign to Connie to have an adult be so lively towards her. None of the parents at her school wanted her to hang out with their children. Perhaps the fact that Mrs. Jensen's own son was an addict made her sympathize with Connie.

"I will." She promised, watching Justin and Mrs. Jensen leave with their grocery bags. The boy gave her one last smile, and Connie stared at him stupidly until the lady at the register called out for her.

Connie drove home with the radio on, humming to the song it was playing. It was exhausting having to focus on staying clean, taking care of her mom, and keeping up with her grades. But thinking about Justin was overwhelming too.

 _I should ask for his number at the next meeting. No, that'd be too forward. What if he has a girlfriend? What if he doesn't have a girlfriend but still doesn't like me? Or what if he does like me and we go out and he ends up getting bored with me? No, that's the paranoia talking... get it together, Collette!_

It was probably silly to be crushing on someone she'd only known for a day, but she couldn't help it. Justin was too cute for words.

Connie's besotted daydreams ended once she made back to her house. Her mother was sitting on the couch watching TV, waiting for her.

"What took you so long?" Darcy asked, irritated.

"I ran into someone at the Walplex." Connie explained, heading towards the kitchen with the bags. She started to organize everything when her mom walked up to her.

"You don't have anything on you, do you?"

Connie winced. _She still doesn't trust me_. "What? Of course not. I can empty my purse if you don't believe me."

"No, no." Darcy whispered, regretful. She squeezed Connie's shoulder affectionately. "You don't have to do that. I'm sorry, Cici."

Connie sighed, patting her mother's hand. "I get it, mom. I'm sorry too." _And I'll always will be_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 _ **Justin's POV**_

Justin hadn't expected to see Connie again so soon, especially not while he was buying groceries with Mrs. Jensen.

It was pretty obvious that the girl was into him. He could tell by the way she blushed and struggled to find words when they spoke. Connie was really cute, but he hadn't been with a girl since Jessica, and everyone knew how that turned out. _Awful. And it was all my fault_.

Not that Justin had time for a relationship or anything like that right now. He was still struggling to improve his grades and hide his lack of sobriety from the Jensens and his sponsor.

Walking the school halls was hard for him, but having Clay by his side made it less painful. He didn't miss being an athlete or the popularity, but he sure as hell missed not being the school's heroin addict.

"Hey, guys." Zach approached them that Monday morning. "How was your weekend?"

"The usual." Clay responded. "And yours?"

"I took May to a friend's house to practice cheerleading." He frowned. "She wants to try out next year."

"You don't sound excited." Justin commented. "Not that I blame you."

"Yeah..." Zach sighed. "I don't want her anywhere near any of the jocks."

Justin nodded, noticing Alex and Jessica coming their way. _Shit_.

"Hey, you two." Clay greeted their friends. Justin tried to avoid making eye contact with Jessica at all costs.

"Does anyone else wish it was Friday already?" Alex said.

Zach chuckled. "Dude, you haven't even attended a single class yet."

"And I wish I could keep it that way." He insisted.

"Alex's just worried about all the exams we have coming up." Jessica explained. Justin pretended to be checking something on his notebook, not daring to face either of them. "How are you doing, Justin?"

Justin was about to mutter a vague response when the bell rang. Fortunately, he only shared classes with Clay and Zach today, so he would only have to deal with the awkwardness of being around Alex and Jessica during lunch.

"You okay?" Clay asked him on their way to History class.

"I'm fine." Justin replied, not wanting to explain why he was acting so weird. He wanted to tell Clay about what happened at the dance, but the school wasn't the right place. Someone could overhear them, and that would ruin everything.

Justin sat down between his two friends and tried to focus on the lesson, but his mind was elsewhere. _I just need some more... just a little bit more..._

"Hey, man." Zach whispered. "Pretend to pay attention, or you'll get busted."

"Yeah, thanks." _Easier said than done._ Justin kept his eyes on the board, hoping the teacher wouldn't notice he wasn't listening to a single word she was saying.

The rest of his classes weren't any less dull, and lunch didn't help cheer up his spirit.

"How are the meetings, Justin?" Alex wondered.

"They're good." _Not exactly a lie_. "I'm going to another one today."

"Good for you." Jessica said, giving him a tiny smile. Justin would have blushed if she hadn't been holding hands with Alex the entire time. _They're together. Accept it, Foley_.

Clay must have noticed his discomfort, because he quickly changed the subject. "So... Zach's sister wants to be a cheerleader."

"Really?" Jessica's eye widened. "I forgot she'll be a freshman next year. Is your mother against the idea?"

Zach shook his head. "My mother does nothing but encourage May. It's pointless to argue with her."

"Perhaps May will change her mind and join some other team." Alex offered. "Who knows? She could end up in jazz band."

Justin said nothing on the matter. Anything jock-related just made him think of his days as Bryce's friend and that was the last thing he needed to think about. The others kept the conversation going until lunch ended.

After they were done with school, Clay gave Justin a ride to his NA meeting. Once inside, he spotted Connie sitting with her legs crossed and her hands on her knee. She was wearing short overalls, a white shirt, and purple lipstick this time. When she noticed his presence, she motioned for him to sit next to her. _How could I refuse?_

"Hi." Connie said softly. "How are you?"

"I'm good. You?"

"I'm okay, I guess." She shrugged. "Your mom was really nice the other day."

 _She's not exactly my mom_. "Yeah, she always is. The invitation for dinner still stands if you want."

"Oh, thanks. Maybe this Friday? If that's okay with you, I mean..." She was babbling again, and Justin couldn't help but smile. "We don't really know each other that much, and I don't want to bother you at your house."

"You wouldn't be bothering me." He assured her. "I promise."

Connie grinned, handing him her phone. "Can I have your number?"

"Sure." Justin took the phone and dialed his number. When he returned it to her, he noticed Connie biting her lower lip.

"I promise I'm not going to be calling you at 3 a.m. or anything." She joked. "You're cute, but not that cute."

Justin couldn't remember the last time a girl flirted with him. Connie's whole face was flushed, which he found sweet. _I wonder if she's ever been with a guy_. "Oh, really?" He said slowly. "We'll see."

They laughed together until it was time for the meeting to start. Justin hoped Connie would open up this time; he was really curious about her story, but the girl remained silent. When it was his turn to speak, he could feel her brown eyes on him.

"I still worry about my mom." He admitted. "I know she probably feels like I betrayed her by having this new family, but the Jensens have been everything I ever needed. I just hope she doesn't hate me."

It never got easier to talk about his mother, but what else was he supposed to say? He was lying to everyone in the room about being clean, so the least he could do was say something that was true. Connie was still looking at him, her gaze full of concern and wonder. _I'll probably have to explain to her that I'm adopted_.

Listening to others tell their stories made Justin feel less alone, but it didn't fix his own troubles. He wanted to scream from the top of his lungs that he was still using; he was tired of pretending everything was okay.

"That was really brave of you." Connie said once the meeting was over. "Talking about your mom and all. I wish I could do that."

"Who says you can't?" Justin inquired, walking side by side with her towards the exit.

"I do!" Connie pouted, making Justin laugh at her adorable expression. "I'm serious!" She playfully punched his arm. "I'm such a chicken. But I feel it would be a good start for me if I could just tell at least one person. Are you doing anything right now?"

Justin stood quietly for a moment, staring at Connie's purple lips. His heart was still with Jessica, but he couldn't deny that the girl in front of him was nice to be around. "Nothing. What do you have in mind?" _Maybe we could be friends... why not?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 ** _Connie's POV_**

They ended up in Monet's, sitting in front of each other. Connie ordered a raspberry mocha latte and blueberry pancakes, and encouraged Justin to do the same.

"W-what did I just do? I can't pay for that!" Justin exclaimed.

Connie chuckled at his worried expression, finding his reaction adorable. "Relax, okay? I invited you here, so I'm paying."

"I can't ask you to pay for me, Connie. It's supposed to be the other way around."

"Then you can pay for everything the next time." She bit her lip, immediately regretting her words. _I'm already talking about a next time. You sound so clingy, Collette._

Justin nodded, soothing her worries. "Deal."

Connie texted her mom, informing her of her whereabouts. _Why do I even bother?_ _She's probably asleep right now._ Justin was also on his phone, but Connie didn't ask who he was texting.

Once their orders were on the table, they started drinking and eating enthusiastically. Neither of them said anything; they just shared amused glances while they enjoyed their food. Justin laughed when he saw Connie's mouth was covered in whipped cream.

"Don't laugh at me!" She wiped her mouth with a napkin. "You're eating like a dog, and I'm not making fun of you."

"I'm sorry! You just reminded me of a baby, that's all."

 _A baby?_ "Wow, thanks." Connie said sarcastically. "Just what every girl wants to hear."

Justin continued to laugh, and Connie eventually joined him. This earned them some judgmental looks from other customers, but the teenagers paid no mind to them. Connie was happily enjoying herself with the cutest guy she'd ever seen, but she also wanted to talk about the things that had made her end up going to NA meetings. _That's why I invited him here, right?_

"I hate ruining the moment like this, but I need to vent for a bit. You don't mind, do you?"

The boy shook his head, taking another bite out of his pancake.

"Thanks." Connie sighed, bracing herself. She didn't care that he was basically a stranger; she just wanted to share her truth with him. "So, my dad is a really mean son of a bitch, pardon my language. He would always beat my mom and me. He also threatened to kill us several times, until one night he grabbed a knife and tried to stab my mom." She paused for a moment, trying to hold back the tears. "And he would have, if I hadn't hit him in the back with a fire extinguisher. Then the cops came, and he got 12 years for attempted murder."

 _I did it. I actually told someone._ Justin was staring at her, and she prayed he wouldn't leave.

"I'm really sorry that happened to you." He finally said, and Connie could have sworn he was about to cry too. "Is your mom okay?"

"She's on antidepressants, spending most of the time in bed. Her boss gave her a leave of absence and was very understanding, thank God."

"And are you okay?"

Connie smiled slightly, touched by Justin's concern. They barely knew each other, but here he was, listening to her problems and asking her how she was doing. _His eyes are so beautiful._ "I'm hanging in there, I guess. After that whole mess with my dad, I started using coke and did a lot of terrible things. I only managed to get clean two months ago thanks to my mom, who is now forcing me to go to meetings. Said I needed to talk about these things with people who understood."

"I guess you could say I'm one of those people." Justin murmured. "I've been through some heavy stuff myself."

"I'm sorry to hear that. You want to talk about it?"

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Not right now, sorry."

 _I wonder what happened to him. I guess I'll learn about it soon._ "It's okay. You don't have to tell me anything. To be honest, there is plenty of stuff I haven't told you. It's just not easy to admit certain things, you know?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Being an addict makes me feel like a burden... everyone looks at me like I'm a time bomb that's going to detonate at any moment. I hate that people think of me that way."

"Like you're never going to be good enough?"

"Exactly."

Connie and Justin had gotten so wrapped up in their conversation that they had completely forgotten about their food. "I think this is the first time I've ever ignored a pancake." Connie joked.

"It would be a crime to let all of this go to waste." Justin agreed.

After they finished everything, Connie paid for their meals. She could tell Justin still felt uncomfortable by having somebody else pay for his food, which made Connie giggle on their way out of the coffee shop. "You'll get your chance to return the favor, Justin."

"Oh, I will." He promised, smiling brightly. Connie couldn't help but blush; Justin's entire being was so unbelievably captivating. She wanted to spend more time with him.

Connie gulped, trying to compose herself. _He's just a guy, Connie. You just met him, so calm down._ "Do you live near here?"

"Um, yeah." Justin responded, stroking the back of his neck. "My brother is picking me up. Do you need a ride?"

"No, thanks. I'll just walk home."

"You don't have to, we can ta-"

"No, no, I'm good." She cut him off. "I don't mind walking, and my house isn't that far from here either. But thank you for the offer."

"You're welcome, Connie."

Closing her eyes, she leaned and kissed his left cheek. It only lasted a second, but it was enough to make her heart want to jump out of her chest. Justin's gorgeous blue eyes were now wide open; he clearly hadn't been expecting that. _Oh, shit. What did I do? Wait, are his eyes really blue? Because they also look kind of grey... ugh, say something!_

"I'm sorry." Connie blurted out. "I just wanted..."

"It's fine, don't worry." He assured her. "I don't mind."

 _You don't mind? What does that mean?_ "I guess I'll see you in another meeting?"

"Yeah, of course." Justin said quickly. "It was good talking to you."

Connie snorted, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again. "I'm glad I didn't scare you away."

"It takes a lot to scare me away. Trust me." He flashed her one last smile as she waved him goodbye.

Connie put her hands in her pockets, letting the tears fall down her face this time. _I hope that's true..._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 ** _Justin's POV_**

"You're being too quiet tonight. It's starting to freak me out." Clay said to Justin after dinner. They were both sitting in their respective beds, getting ready to sleep, and Justin's silence was beginning to scare Clay.

Justin sighed, taking off his shoes. "You're going to think I'm a narcissistic asshole, b-"

"I already think you're a narcissistic asshole." Clay cut him off, pulling the covers over himself.

Justin chuckled, doing the same. "Thanks, Clay. As I was saying, there's this girl from the meetings I told you about..."

"Connie, right?"

"Right. Well, the other day when we went to Monet's together, she told me some pretty heavy stuff about herself. We had a pretty good time, and I like being around her, but..."

"But?"

"But I can tell that she likes me. Like, really likes me."

"And what's the problem with that?" Clay inquired. "Is it Jessica?"

 _Of course it's Jessica._ "Yes. I can't get her out my head. But that's not all..."

"You're scaring me, man. What is it?"

 _Okay, here it comes._ "The night of the Spring Fling, Jessica and I had sex in the locker room."

Clay's eyes widened, nearly jumping out of the bed. "Wait, what?!"

"Don't yell!" Justin said, throwing a pillow at him. "It was just the heat of the moment... we started talking, and it just happened."

"Jesus Christ, Justin!" Clay hissed. "And you've been carrying this secret the entire time?"

 _Not just this secret._ "Yes, but you can't tell Alex. We both vowed not to. And please don't tell Zach either, because he'll probably try and force us to admit the truth."

"I won't say anything." He promised. "But someday you're going to have to come clean. Alex doesn't deserve to be lied to."

"I know that."

They remained in silence for a while. Justin felt a little bit of relief now that he had confided in his brother about one of the two terrible things he had done that night. But he still couldn't bring himself to admit that he had relapsed. He didn't think he would be capable of handling the look of disappointment in Clay's face if he were to find the drugs under his bed. _He would never trust me again._

Justin thought of Connie, and the things she had told him at Monet's. Her own father had tried to kill her. How does someone manage to move forward after something like that? _She's a lot tougher than she looks. He knew_ that she'd eventually find out about Bryce, Jessica, his life on the streets, and the adoption, but had no clue how she'd react to all of it. _Would she still look me at me the way she does once she finds out I let my girlfriend get raped?_

He liked the way she got nervous around him; as if he were an innocent guy who could do no wrong. But it would be selfish and cruel of him to lead her on. _Those days are behind me._

"I told your mom that Connie will have dinner with us tomorrow." Justin suddenly said. "It was her idea."

"My mom's or Connie's?"

Justin snorted. "Your mom's, dumbass."

"No need to call me that." Clay protested. "So, what's Connie like?"

"She's sweet. Kinda awkward, I guess. Very pretty."

"So she's totally out of your league, then?"

"Fuck off, Jensen." Justin rolled his eyes, grinning. "Maybe you should date her."

"Me? No way! I'm not gonna chase a girl that's into you."

"Didn't stop you from crushing on Hannah." Justin pointed out, and his brother's face went pale. _Shit. Shit. What the fuck is wrong with me?_ "I'm sorry, man. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Clay said dismissively. "So, what makes you think I should date her?"

Justin tried to picture Clay and Connie for a second, and winced in disgust. "Nothing. She deserves better than your virgin dumbass."

Now it was Clay's turn to turn a pillow at him. "Fuck you."

* * *

 ** _Connie's POV_**

It was Friday, and in a few hours, Connie would be having dinner at the Jensen household. To say she was nervous was an understatement.

"What the hell am I suppose to wear?" She asked herself, exploring her closet. "It's not like I'm going to meet my boyfriend's parents. Justin's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend. My only friend... God, that's tragic."

It was a miracle that her mother had agreed to let her go to another addict's home, but Connie assured her he lived with two very responsible parents and a brother. It was a white lie; she had only spoken to Mrs. Jensen once, and she had never met Mr. Jensen or Clay, but Connie trusted what Justin had told her about them.

 _Justin._

He had been in her dreams last night. She felt so embarrassed and silly, rewinding the images in her mind. _It only happened because I haven't had sex in a while... right?_

Eventually, she found a red floral print mini dress she hadn't worn in almost a year, and decided to put it on. She completed her outfit with a pair of red sandals, a ruby heart pendant necklace, and some make-up.

"Mom, I'm leaving now!" Connie announced.

"Wait a minute!" Darcy yelled, coming out of her bedroom. "You have your phone with you?"

"Yes, mom, it's in my bag."

"Call me if anything happens." She said, taking a lock of her daughter's hair. "You look so beautiful. You're not in love with this boy, aren't you?"

"Ugh, mom! No, I'm not!" Connie snapped. "We're just friends."

"Well, good. Two addicts shouldn't be in a relationship. It'd only end badly."

 _Can't be worse than you and dad._ "Stop worrying, mom. I need to go, or I'll be late."

Connie kissed her mother goodbye and drove towards the address Justin had texted her. She still felt very unsure of herself, and prayed that the night would turn out alright.

Justin's house looked decent, nothing out of the ordinary. She stood in front of his door for a few seconds before she dared to ring the bell.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 ** _Justin's POV_**

When Justin opened the door, he found Connie waiting for him. She looked absolutely radiant, all in red, even her lips. It was going to be hard for him not to stare at her.

"Hey." He said, awkwardly patting her arm. "How are you?"

Connie let out a little laugh. "I'm good, and you?"

"Great, thanks." _Just not sure how this night will go._ "Come on in."

They entered the house, and Justin led her to the living room. Clay was already sitting on the table, but he stood up the second he saw them.

"Is this your brother?" Connie asked.

"Yeah..." Justin trailed off. He didn't miss the surprised expression on Clay's face. _I told him she was hot._ "Connie, this is my brother Clay." _Still can't believe that._ "Clay, this is my friend Connie from the NA meetings."

"It's nice to meet you." Connie said, shaking Clay's hand. "I've heard so much about you."

Clay shook his head. "All lies."

"Really?" Connie teased. "Because Justin said you saved his life. Is that not true?"

Clay's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

"Why don't we sit down, uh?" Justin suggested, cutting him off. He didn't need Clay to know the extent of his conversations with Connie. "I'm sure we're all starving."

"Did I say something wrong?" Connie whispered, sitting between Justin and Clay.

"No, not at all." He replied. "I just don't want his ego to get bigger than it already is."

"I don't have a big ego!" Clay protested. "You do!"

Justin and Connie laughed at his outraged reaction. "Calm down, Jensen." The boy said. "Don't make a scene in front of our guest."

When the Jensens came out of the kitchen with the food, Connie abruptly left her chair to help them out, but Justin grabbed her delicately by the hand.

Connie's eyes met his, and he gave her a reassuring smile. "You don't need to do that."

"You must be Connie." Mr. Jensen said. "It's so good to finally meet you."

"Thank you." She let go of Justin's hand, and returned to her seat. Clay was looking at the two of them as if they had grown two heads.

"It's so nice to see you again, Connie." Mrs. Jensen smiled softly. "I hope you like shepherd's pie."

"Oh, yeah, absolutely." Connie nodded. "It looks delicious."

They all ate quietly for a few minutes, and Justin began to wonder who was going to be the one to break the silence. He had told the Jensens about Connie's father being in prison, but only so they wouldn't ask her about him. It was obviously a sensitive topic for his friend, and he didn't want to make her cry and ruin her night.

"So, Connie..." Mrs. Jensen started. "Which school do you go to?"

"I go to Glory High." She responded. "But I've been thinking about transferring to Liberty."

Justin nearly choked on his food. "Wait, seriously?" _I did not see that coming._ "What does your mom think?"

"She's cool with it." Connie explained. "She knows that I've been having a hard time at Glory, so she understands. I've lost all my friends there, and I get teased a lot because of my..." She paused for a few seconds. "...you know, my drug problem."

"Well, Liberty High isn't exactly a paradise." Clay commented. "Which I'm sure Justin has told you."

Connie slowly blinked as she turned to Justin. "Actually, he hasn't told me much about school or his friends. What's up with that? Not that you have to share everything..."

Justin cleared his throat. "We got a pretty big group of friends, Clay and me. There's Zach, Tony, Jessica..." _Well, she's more than a friend to me._ "... Alex, Tyler, and a new girl that started like a week ago, Ani."

The brunette's eyes widened. "Wow... I'm impressed."

"I think it's a good thing for you to start over at a new school, Connie." Mrs. Jensen stated. "You shouldn't have to spend what you have left of high school friendless."

"T-thank you." Connie murmured, looking down. Justin knew it wasn't wise, but he couldn't stop himself from putting his hand on top of hers. The gesture only lasted about five seconds, but it was enough for Connie's face to grow hot and for Clay and his folks to raise their eyebrows. _This is the second time I have held her hand tonight. She's going to get the wrong idea._

Justin began to picture Connie hanging out with him at Liberty. He wondered how she'd fit into their group, and if he should tell her about Jessica. He and his ex-girlfriend hadn't done anything since the Spring Fling, but he would be lying if he said he didn't want something to happen again.

"Hey listen, I applied for a job at Monet's." Justin told Connie. "So the next time you go, I might be the one to serve you."

"That's great." She nodded. "I look forward to it. I've been thinking about getting a job, too. So I can help my mom, and stuff."

"What does your mom do, Connie?" Mr. Jensen wondered.

"She's a loan officer. But she hasn't been working for a while since..." Connie paused, exchanging a look with Justin. "Well, I'm sure Justin has told you."

He resisted the urge to touch her hand once more. _I have to change the subject again._ "Did I tell you I'm adopted?"

"No, but I kinda guessed it. You must be thrilled to be living here with such a beautiful family." She pursed her lips, maintaining eye contact. "And I'm sure they feel blessed to have you here with them, as well."

Justin was about to say something in response, when his phone buzzed. It was a text from Clay.

"The fuck...?" He whispered.

 _Should we leave the two of you alone?_

Justin rolled his eyes at his brother, who gave him a "you know I'm right" look. Fortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Jensen took over the conversation, telling Connie all about the adoption process and how he ended up being a part of the family.

Now that Connie knew about the time he had lived on the streets and how he became addicted to heroin, all he had to do was tell her about what had happened with Jessica and Bryce, but the thought of her finding out about that made his stomach turn. _I should just tell her and get it over with... right?_

After they had finished dessert, Connie announced she had to leave. "I'd love to stay a little longer, but my mom needs me. Thank you for everything, Mr. and Mrs. Jensen. The food was lovely."

"Thank you for coming over, Connie." Mrs. Jensen said, giving her a hug.

"We hope to have you here again soon." Mr. Jensen added.

"Thank you." Connie said, turning to Clay and gently squeezing his arm. "It was nice to meet you, Clay. I'm hoping you and I can be friends, too."

"T-that sounds great." He stammered, his nervous reaction amusing Justin. Connie was oblivious at the way her beauty had impacted Clay.

"I'll walk you out." Justin offered, and Connie followed him outside. He closed the door and struggled to find something to say.

"I had an amazing time." Connie told him, wrapping her arms around his torso. "Thank you for everything."

Justin gulped and returned the hug. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on top of her her long hair. _She smells so good_. He could feel her heart beat a strong, steady rhythm in her chest, and his fingers clutched at the back on her dress.

Once Connie untangled herself from him with red cheeks, she whispered her goodbyes and Justin watched as she headed to her car and drove away.

"You were outside for a while." Clay pointed out once Justin entered their bedroom.

"I was just making sure she got back to her car safely."

"Are you into her, Justin?"

He sighed. "I'm not... well, it's complicated."

Clay rolled his eyes. "How?"

"I'm in love with Jessica." He explained. "I know I am, and I don't think I'll ever stop loving her. But Connie... she's different, you know? She doesn't see me as the boy who let Bryce rape her like Jess does. The way she looks at me... it's like I can do no wrong in her eyes. I love that feeling. It's selfish to lead her on, I know that, and the last thing I wanna do is hurt her, but a part of me wonders what it would be like... to not be in love with Jessica and start something new. I don't know, it's complicated."

"I wish I could say that I get it, but I don't." His brother shrugged. "But I'm guessing it doesn't help that Connie's so..."

"Hot?" Justin beamed. "Yeah, that doesn't help either. She just hugged me earlier, and I felt like my whole body was going to explode and-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Clay interrupted in disgust. "I don't wanna know about that."

He laughed at Clay's prudishness. "Fine. But one day you're going to need my advice. Mark my words."

That night, two girls invaded Justin's dreams: Jessica, the girl he was in love with, and Connie, the girl he knew was in love with him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 ** _Connie's POV_**

After getting home from Justin's place, Connie laid in bed, feeling both flustered and terrified.

She had told her mom earlier that she wasn't in love with Justin, but after tonight, there was no way she could deny that to her again. _I'm already keeping too many secrets from her. Don't really need another one._ She had only known Justin for less than a month, but her heart yelled every time she thought of him. _If this is not love, then I don't know what it is. Then again, I've never been in love before, so maybe I'm confused? But I don't believe I am..._

Every single time their hands had touched, she felt this torturous electricity inside of her body that made her want to kiss him right there in front of his whole family. _And that hug! That hug made me want to do a lot more than just kiss..._

Connie couldn't help but wonder how things were going to proceed between them now that she was about to transfer to Liberty. She hoped people wouldn't think that the sole reason for her transfer was to chase after Justin. _I mean, I do want to chase after him, but I also can't stand the bullying anymore! I want to have friends again, damn it! And attending a new school can help me with that._

Part of her wanted to tell Justin everything. She had told him some things about her dad, but there was so much more she wanted to share with him. _But I can't! I want to, but I can't tell him all the shit I've done! He'd think I'm disgusting!_

Her thoughts were out of control, and Connie didn't know what to do about them. She wished she had a friend to talk to about this stuff, but other than the boy in question and his brother, she had none. _It's the price to pay for being a cokehead, right?_

The meetings were helping, but they didn't reduce her guilt. Thanks to Justin's encouragement, she had managed to open up to the rest of the group and tell them about her father being in jail, and her mother having depression. Fortunately, everyone else in that room had their own fucked up problems, so none of them raised their brows at her situation.

Staying sober was easier now that she was no longer in contact with the people she used to buy drugs from. The craving was still there, of course, and Connie hoped nobody at Liberty did any coke near her.

 _So first, I have to tell mom about my feelings for Justin. He's an addict, so she's not going to like it. Then I have to get ready to start at Liberty. And finally... I have to think about how I'm going to deal with my feelings for Justin..._

"It all sounds so easy." Connie said sarcastically, grabbing her phone from the nightstand. She searched for Justin's Instagram profile to stare at his pictures like an idiot for the 50th time. His basketball pictures were the most appealing - he just looked so good in uniform. But the ones where he was standing next to Jessica, his beautiful ex-girlfriend, were also hard to ignore.

 _He mentioned her earlier, during dinner. Said she was a friend. If she was still his girlfriend, he would have let me know about it... right?!_

Connie decided not to get paranoid about Jessica. She hadn't even met the girl yet, so it was pointless to jump into conclusions. She continued to analyze Justin's profile until she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

* * *

 ** _Justin's POV_**

Today was the day.

Connie was now officially a student at Liberty High, and Justin had no idea how things with her were going to turn out. _Good, I hope._

Besides Clay, Zach was the only one of his friends who knew about her. To Justin's surprise, Zach didn't react negatively when he learned about Connie's father, like Justin suspected he would.

Zach's mood had recently turned sour now that Tyler was back at school and the group had started to babysit him. Ever since the night of the Spring Fling, when Tyler almost committed an atrocity, Clay had vowed to make sure Tyler would recover, and Zach did not like that one bit.

He couldn't deny that Clay's idea of following Tyler everywhere to make sure nobody messed with him was nuts, but he also couldn't help but agree with his brother that Tyler deserved a second chance. _I got mine, so I don't see why Tyler shouldn't get his._

The thing that Justin admired most about Clay was his inability to give up on people. Which is why he was now committed to making sure Connie had a great time at Liberty High.

His friend hadn't gone into details, but it was clear that she had suffered a great deal at her previous school. And somebody as sweet as her didn't deserve that at all.

When he saw her entering the halls of Liberty, he smiled stupidly and waited for her to meet his eyes.

"Hey, Justin!" Connie greeted when she noticed him. She walked rapidly towards him, and made move to give him a hug.

He accepted it, of course, and wrapped his arms around her. It only lasted five seconds, but apparently it was enough to turn Connie's face into a tomato.

"Are you nervous?" Justin asked.

"A little bit." She said. "But I'm sure I'll be okay. You're here with me, after all."

 _God, she is so cute._

He chuckled. "Well, thank you for trusting me."

Connie nodded, and leaned against one of the lockers. "Is Clay here today?"

"Yeah, he's here. Probably already drowning in a book or something. Why?"

"Just curious. I'm a bit nervous about meeting your other friends, if I'm completely honest."

"Don't be. They'll love you, I promise." _It's probably going to be a bit awkward between her and Jessica, but that's all. What could possibly go wrong?_ "What class do you have now?"

"Math, I think."

Justin rubbed his face. "Well, the good news is that Clay is in that class today, and so is my friend Tyler. The bad news, is that I'm not."

"Well, that sucks." Connie said quickly. "I was hoping I'd be sharing my first class at Liberty with you."

He chuckled once again, unable to hide how flustered she was making him feel. _What is this? She's my friend. My nice, beautiful, innocent friend... and I'm in love with Jess. Completely and utterly in love with Jess. But... she's with Alex, isn't she? And she isn't breaking up with him any time soon. So what should I do?_

* * *

 ** _Connie's POV_**

 _Me and my big mouth! Now there's only a matter of time before he realizes that I'm in love with him. Fuck!_

The bell rang, and Connie was forced to part ways with Justin.

"I guess I'll see you later." She said.

"Yeah, sure. Good luck." He gave her a pat on the shoulder, and walked away. Once he was gone from her sight, she ran towards the History classroom, where she found Clay sitting on the back.

"Hey!"

"Oh, hey." He said, a little astounded. "I forgot Justin said you were starting today."

"It's okay, I'm just glad to finally be able to start over."

Clay nodded, turning towards the boy that was sitting next to him. "This is Tyler, by the way. Tyler, this is Connie."

Connie's eyes meet Tyler's, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Hi." He murmured, and immediately looked down.

 _Shit. Maybe Justin told him about my dad?_

"He's shy." Clay explained as if had read her mind. "Don't take it personally."

"It's okay." Connie said. "I totally get it." _It's not like he insulted me or anything._ She chose to sit on the empty seat next to Tyler's and waited for the teacher to show up.

It felt strange for her, to be sitting in a classroom and not have everyone look at her like she was a terrible person. There was a small part of her that still wasn't sure she deserved a fresh start after all the troubled she'd caused, but here she was. At a new school, with new people who didn't know about the things she did.

Connie thought of her old friends and all the things she'd lost because of her addiction. She blamed herself, but most of all, she blamed her dad. _I'd have never started snorting that shit if it wasn't for him..._

She was having a hard time concentrating in class, constantly looking at her phone to check the time. To her surprise, it buzzed.

It was a text from Justin.

Justin: _How's your day so far?_

She smiled and hid her phone under her desk to type her reply. She didn't want the teacher to catch her and get in trouble on her first day.

Connie: _Could be better. I HATE MATH. Worst subject ever._

Fortunately, Justin replied almost immediately.

Justin: _IKR?! Good luck. See you at lunch!_

Connie bit her lip, both excited and nervous to see him with his other friends at lunch. She wasn't sure if they were willing to welcome her into their group. _Hopefully, I won't screw this up._

* * *

 ** _Justin's POV_**

"So this friend of yours, where did you meet her?" Alex asked during lunch.

Justin was sitting between Zach and Ani, with Alex, Jessica, and Tony facing them. They were waiting for Clay, Tyler, and Connie to join them. Zach wasn't eager to be anywhere near Tyler, but he'd agreed to tolerate him for a few minutes after Justin'd asked him to be there when he introduced Connie to the group.

"I met her during my NA meetings." Justin said. "Be nice to her, okay?"

"Why wouldn't we be nice?" Jessica asked, raising her eyebrows.

"No reason." He responded. "She's very sensitive and has been through a lot, that's all."

"Okay." Jessica nodded, placing her hand on top of Alex's. Justin resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Finally, Connie, Clay, and Tyler showed up. Clay sat next to Ani, and Tyler sat next to Clay. Connie let out a small sigh, choosing to sit next to Alex.

"Connie, these are Alex, Jessica, Tony, Zach, and Ani. You already meet Clay and Tyler. Guys, this is Connie."

"Hi." She said shyly. "I'm Connie Collete, a friend of Justin. Some people call me Cici. It's nice to meet you all."

Connie was met with some "heys" and "nice to meet you too" from the rest of the kids at the table. She smiled and nodded, unsure of what else to say.

"I love your blue lipstick." Ani commented. "Not many people can pull that color off."

"Oh, thanks." Connie said. "I'm glad you think so."

"Justin said you transferred from Glory High." Zach said. "We have an upcoming football game against them."

"Oh, cool." Connie responded, feigning interest. _She has no fond memories of her school._ _But she's playing it cool not to cry in front of the others. She's so brave._ "I-I used to be a cheerleader, so I was always present at the games. Glory's team is pretty good, but I bet anything you can beat them."

 _Okay, that's new. I didn't know she used to cheer._

"I hope you're right." Zach smiled. "Thank you for the vote of confidence."

Connie returned the smile, blushing a little. Justin felt a little weirded out by that. _I thought I was the only one that could make her... no,_ _this is fucking stupid. Zach's my friend. So is Connie. I'm overreacting._

"I used to be a cheerleader, too." Jessica joined the conversation. "But that's ancient history."

Connie frowned. "How come?"

"Well, let's just say some events made me realize it wasn't worth my time." She said bitterly. Connie appeared confused by her answer, but everyone else on the table knew what Jessica was referring too. _Bryce._

"What are your interests, Connie?" Tony asked.

* * *

 ** _Connie's POV_**

 _Drugs. Cocaine, to be more specific. Alcohol. Parties. Does sex count as an interest? I'm guessing yes._

"Um, I don't know. I like books. Romance novels, mostly. I also like to act, sing and dance." She said nervously. "I was thinking of maybe joining the Drama Club. Do we have one of those?"

"Yeah, there is one." Alex said. "It kind of has a bad rep."

"The club has never been able to deliver any good shows." Clay explained. "I think it's because it doesn't have a lot of members."

"Oh, that sucks." Connie muttered.

"You shouldn't let that stop you, though." Tyler said, finally speaking up. He had been awfully quiet until now. "If you want to join, then you should go ahead."

"You know what? You're right." Connie grinned at Tyler. "Thank you, Tyler. You're very sweet."

Zach let out a forced cough, in an attempt to hide his laughter. Clay and Tony glared at him, and Tyler went back to being silent. Fortunately, Connie didn't notice any of the weirdness his friends were exhibiting.

When lunchtime came to an end, the group split up to get to their respective classes. Connie ended up sharing her next one with Jessica and Alex. _Jesus, what do I have to do to be in a class with Justin?_

Connie spent half of the lesson paying attention to the teacher, and the other half looking at pictures of Justin on her phone.

Her heart jumped when she caught Jessica looking at her. _Oh, shit._ Connie put her phone away, feigning innocence.

"I didn't see anything." Jessica reassured her. "No need to freak out."

"Okay." Connie whispered. She wasn't sure if Jessica was telling the truth or not, but she wasn't able to detect any malice in her tone. _Why would there be malice, though? It's not like she and Justin are still together. She has a boyfriend. This won't be a problem at all... I hope._


End file.
